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Saint Joseph said, "I, Joseph, was the guardian of the Most High. I watched Him in His Infancy - watched Him growing strong - so strong. So loveable a child- so loveable. No one could ask for more. No one could wish for greater son! I heard Mary's words with singular awe - 'I have conceived a son, Joseph, through the power of the Most High.'
I listened in amazement; indeed I was bewildered. I knew my Mary. I knew the sincerity of Her heart. I knew the sincerity of Her face - Her look, Her gesture. But to hear this! I listened in awe; indeed in fear; in great bewilderment. I learned in my heart the truth of Her words. No one can be deceived when the word of God is spoken. Oh, the joy and the sadness in my heart! I spent many nights in great concern. 'My God, my God,' I cried. 'My God, what am I to do?'
The journey to Bethlehem was difficult. We had spent much time in talking; in praising the greatness of God; the wonder of His plans. Amazed we were - certainly I was - at His role for us in the scheme of His plans. My dearest, abandon all to God - offering everything in faith. Abandon all as I did - as Mary did. Oh, Her faith, my dearest child - Her faith moved me on many occasions to tears. Her faith was as solid as rock; as strong as ten armies of men. My heart quivered in awe at Her faith. I was and am nothing. There was I beholding the Mother of My God. My heart sank many a time in weight of my responsibilities. But all was well. God saw to that.
We journeyed, as I say, with some difficulty. When we arrived there was nowhere to go. Nowhere - ah, how I consider now my feelings then! We had all God desired at our disposal! I got for Mary a little delicacy - fine honey in biscuit. How Her eyes lit up at my act of love! How I loved Her - so loveable - so humble - my Mary. We found, after great searching - and no little abuse - a place - a rugged place - not fit, even, for the animals who inhabited it. Many, I tell you - sheep and others - a haven of dirt and filth! No words of shock or complaint left Mary's lips. All silence was Mary - except when thanking God for His generosity; and thanking those who showed us the place - gruff as they were. All in Her heart was thanksgiving. How sad I was at such filth; such desultoriness. How joyful I was for Mary's love, Her meekness, Her acceptance. I prayed to God, our Father for strength. I was very troubled. The birth took place after some time had passed.
My Jesus, Mercy! I declare. I implore for all the world. Such cold, such misery, such forlornness. I grieved for my wife. I grieved for Mankind. I rejoiced in my joy. I rejoiced with Mary. Suffering and joy. Those were the words - those were the conditions - those permeated the air we breathed. After the birth such peace overwhelmed us - peace - peace. We became absorbed in peace. We lived a peace at that time, in those moments, that words could not describe. My sorrows became joys; my world would not let in - would not accommodate - worries for tomorrow; and there were, or could have been, many - perhaps horrors at the predicament - perhaps all seemed desperate. But my heart could not entertain such thoughts - all was peace. God's Peace had entered, enveloped the scene. God's Peace took us in, lifted us, transported us. We looked on the Child in wonder; in amazement; in joy. Our tears flowed - tears of joy - tears of thanksgiving to the Great God - Merciful.
People came - poor people - we knew not why. Poor and humble, they entered the Peace. Bowing, they adored the Child. Great news had been told them, they said. Yes, told them. Great news - news of the Saviour. Such excitement, such joy. Such reverence; such peace! We gave thanks.
After hours noises were heard - I prepared to defend my charges. Noises growing ever closer - a great racket of noise developing . Noises of people and animals. Then a further peace descended. The Child was peaceful throughout. People entered - several - bowing as they came; moving forward, as I noted at the time, hesitantly, with great reverence - indeed, I would suspect, a fear. This caused me and Mary to become afraid. We looked. Nothing was said by us - although Mary looked at me in fear. Then, they were upon us; they knelt; they knelt in adoration before the Child, praying all the time. Words I could only hear; the sense not known to me. They looked at one another - they looked at us, and smiled. Such joy, such reverence in their faces. People behind them moved about almost in silence. Things were said; objects were passed to them which they placed before the Child. There was a sense of excitement in the air. I could feel. Mary and I looked without speaking. They were wealthy - by their clothes and so on I could tell. The others bowed as they approached them. They stayed for a time - it ran beyond minutes - looking, adoring, praying; looking at me and Mary many a time, and smiling, gesturing with their hands - often hand to heart - and to the Child. We were overwhelmed by all that night.
Then all left, amidst great noise and great rejoicing. We gave thanks to God, and got what sleep we could for the remainder of that night.
Our lives journeyed on, through the exile and beyond.
I look to the world and request that all - through the hardships, the trials, the journeys - all of you, my brothers and sisters find peace in God. Leave, I urge you, all cares in His hands; with a Faith - leave them. Abandon all to Him. Look to the Merciful Saviour. I, in Faith, abandoned all to God. Our Holy Mother lived in Faith in Him. Abandon in trust. I urge you. Nothing - be it poverty, loss of reputation, hopelessness itself - nothing is beyond His power to heal. Only trust - as we did.
I leave you with the peace and the joy of the Saviour - my Precious Charge on Earth."
© Margaret Carlin 1991
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